As I have been forced to live with myself for about seventeen years, one would think, that I would be pretty familiar with my beliefs, actions, urges etc. But that is not the case, and may never be. I believe that one can never truly know oneself, until the very end. Seeing as a person changes numerous time throughout a lifetime, it is only plausible to think that ones true self may remain hidden for quite some time. To know myself, is to know and fully understand my innermost thoughts and feelings. It is to know my deepest desires, no matter how hard I try to hide them from myself and others. Not only is it to know, but also, to appreciate and as Saint Francis of Assisi once said “accept the things I cannot change.” Only then, when I attain this knowledge, will I be at ease with myself, and those around me.
I have many weaknesses, and on the contrary many strengths. As of this moment, I would have to say a weakness of mine would be my horrible time management, and procrastination issue. I tend to wait to the very last, possible minute to complete things that are important and need to be done, while pushing for time for more enjoyable things, such as hanging with friends. This problem can only get worse with time, especially with college coming up in the fall. Not only has it affected my sleep habits, but also my grades, which I regret wholeheartedly. As of late, becoming more aware of my bad habit, I have taken steps to defeat procrastination. Sitting myself down, and resisting the urge of distractions I make myself focus, telling myself the whole time all of the wonderful things that I can be doing after my work is done. So far I have only been partly successful, (physical distractions morphing into daydreams) but nonetheless I do not give up easily. Rest assured this weakness will be defeated and cast away. The exact time and place that might occur, remains unknown.
From my personal point of view, my greatest strength would be my ability to forgive and forget. I am not one to dwell on the past, and as long things are set right, a grudge will never exist. Making mistakes is a part of life, and having accepted this ideal, I am able to accept it in others. As God forgives our sins through confession, I am willing to forgive others for their wrongs, if only they, themselves realize as well. Yet, I can’t help but think that this could be my downfall as well, being so easily tricked or fooled.
The difficulty with reflecting on my strengths and weaknesses, was the fact that, as I was assessing myself, I thought up many more weaknesses, than strengths, therefore discouraging me from writing this and making an example of my above said weakness. Maybe it was that I was afraid of myself; afraid of what I might find, underneath all the pretenses and walls that were put up. Maybe it was the fact that I had never before had to sit down and think about myself. I did not know, and still do not know, myself well enough to figure out all or most of my attributes, but digging through those barriers I have realized things about myself previously unknown. Overall: a positive experience.
